


Light in the Darkness

by Binary_Sunset



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beyond the Walls, Gift Fic, M/M, Panic Attacks, gentle titan, survey corps missions gone horribly wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 20:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5513030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Binary_Sunset/pseuds/Binary_Sunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being cornered by a massive horde of titans, Jean is rescued by a strangely kind titan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light in the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [procrastinatingalchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/procrastinatingalchemist/gifts).



> This is my gift exchange fic for titansandtrickster, AKA [alchemyandentropy](http://alchemyandentropy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> **Prompt:** "I've always liked the idea of Marco faking his death because he would be needed elsewhere to fight as a shifter. It would be cool to see a reunion between him and Jean, and how Jean would react (I feel like he would feel a bit betrayed and would probably be mad at Marco for not trusting him enough to tell him). And I always like Marco in his titan form holding/protecting Jean!" 
> 
> I tried to hit all the major points here while also injecting a few of my own headcanons in here. Also, I would TOTALLY do the Winter Soldier AU, but I haven't actually seen the movie yet (sorry!). Anyway, happy holidays! I hope this is to your liking.
> 
> Snaps to [ the one true bae-ta ](nightquills.tumblr.com) for reading this through at the last minute. You the best!!!

He was fucked, Jean realised--well and truly fucked.

The whole plan had gone horribly, horribly wrong. His own squad had gotten separated from the group after they entered the forest.

There were titans. So… so many titans. They were absolutely everywhere, seeming to come from the trees themselves, all focused on the destruction of Jean’s squad. They all tried to fight the monsters off, but there were just so many and they were already so low on fuel...

He had to run. There was no other way. He dropped his gear, shut his eyes, turned away from the carnage, and slapped his horse’s reins.

The animal took off like a shot through the woods. He was an impressive horse and could outrun most of the titans Jean had come across. But it seemed as though some of the creatures had decided they'd had their fill of Jean’s squad and decided to go after the man himself next.

Buchwald was steadily slowing down, however, and came to a stop in front of a large tree. Even at his lower speed, the lumbering beasts couldn't keep up. He'd been lucky to avoid any aberrant types that might've been a bit faster.

Still, it was not like his current situation was an improvement. The titans were gaining, his horse was exhausted, and his gear was just dead weight on the forest floor.

It was no use running. The titans would be upon him in a few minutes.

He stood with his back flat against the tree, his eyes shut tight. He’d had a feeling it would end this way: alone and terrified, eaten by titan with no one around to hear his last words. At least, he figured, he’d have time to prepare some good ones.

But the end never came. Jean slowly opened one eye. The titans seemed to freeze in place in what Jean could only describe as “fear”, if titans had those types of emotions at all.

A loud roar echoed across the forest, shaking the leaves on the trees with the sheer force of it. The entire forest floor was shaking suddenly, at regular intervals. Jean gripped the bark of the tree he was leaned up against.

The tremors were becoming more violent and were accompanied by loud impact noises.

Footsteps. Something massive was moving in his direction. Some strange, powerful force that could keep even a titan from its prey.

And it was heading right towards him.

His entire body filled with a sudden rush of adrenaline. His body was ready to fight or flee, but he knew it would be futile to do so. Anything that big or that powerful would surely outspeed or overpower Jean, especially without his gear.

The giant came rushing into the clearing, its massive feet crushing the undergrowth.

The titan was massive. It towered above the ones that had surrounded Jean, and was probably about as tall (if not slightly taller than) Eren’s titan form. It had sunken-in eyes with strange marks beneath them that looked almost like tear tracks.

It opened its mouth and let out another roar. The noise was animal, threatening, like a wolf whose territory had been invaded.

The sound turned Jean’s blood to ice. Where there was once adrenaline, there was now an overwhelming panic. Pressure was building in his chest and he couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe, even.

Some of the titans scattered. Others just turned to the beast, staring blankly, unfeeling, mindless.

The giant titan charged forward, pushing the other titans to the ground and crushing them under its feet if they happened to be in his way.

The titan was running right towards him.

There was no denying it. The thing’s eyes were focused on him and it didn’t seem to care for the titans it was crushing.

Jean took a few laboured breaths, trying to fight against the pressure in his chest. Who knew what the thing wanted to do to him?

The titan was just steps away from Jean now.

He was breathing so hard that tears started to form in his eyes. Every bone in his body seemed to urge him to move, but no matter how hard he fought, it just seemed impossible. Sheer, concentrated panic seemed to cloud his mind, locking every muscle into place.

But the titan didn’t lay a finger on him, just knelt down and looked at Jean. Its eyes were a warm brown and seemed to have a certain kindness to them.

Jean gripped the fabric of his pants, trying to keep a tether to reality. These attacks had happened before, usually during training just before assessments. Marco had been there for them, just to talk to him and put his fears into perspective, promise him he was going to be okay and it would be over soon.

But he wasn’t here now. He’d been dead for almost a year. Jean still kept some of his ashes in a pouch he kept with his things in the barracks.

Perhaps he was desperate for Marco’s company again, but he could’ve sworn this titan had the same freckles and gold eyes he remembered clearly from his best friend.

The titan raised his hand and extended his pointer finger. It brought it down gently onto the top of Jean’s head, letting out a small, sympathetic whine.

The soldier gasped, staring at the titan with wide eyes. He took a small step back on reflex, pushing himself further into the tree.

The beast made no attempt to grab him or take a bite out of him. It just sat there placidly, placing a massive, flat palm in front of Jean.

It wanted Jean to stand on it.

He was faced with a choice at that moment, between running and doing what it wanted. If he ran, he’d be titan chow within seconds, most likely. 

A slim chance of living was always better than a sure chance of dying. He stepped onto the titan’s outstretched palm.

The beast whined again, throaty and almost human. It lifted Jean up and cupped another hand around him, the way he’d trap an inchworm or caterpillar as a child and let it crawl up and down his arms.

The space inside was warm from the titan’s intense body heat, but pleasantly so. Like a hot bath or a warm day in fall.

There was enough light let in from overhead that Jean had a clear view of the inside of the titan’s hands, but not much else. He was far too short to see about them, even if he jumped.

Finally, he felt the titan lower its hands. It removed one hand and flattened its palm once more to allow Jean to move.

In front of him was a cave, just large enough for him to get through if he crouched. The titan pointed towards the cave with one massive hand.

Jean looked over his shoulder at the beast, who only whimpered in response.

Well, he supposed, this was his once chance for survival. There was no way a titan could stick more than a finger in that cave, and most of them were probably too stupid to notice it at all.

He wondered, for a brief moment, why such an intelligent titan would help him escape from being its next meal as opposed to just eating him. Still, it was either trust the beast or face certain death.

He stepped into the cave, starting out crouched, but soon transitioning to crawling as the space narrowed.

By the time he got to the end of the tunnel, it opened up into a massive room lit by torches, with crates stacked nearly around the perimeter.

He felt cold metal press against his head.

“What the Hell does the military want with this place?” a voice asked from behind him, bitter and laden with venom.

“I have no idea-” he paused.

His uniform. He was still wearing it. “Look, I swear I’m not gonna report any of this. I just lost my squad to a bunch of titans and then one of them led me here. I know that sounds crazy, I can hardly believe it, but--”

“Rigel, it's okay. He's with me.” A voice came from the tunnel behind him, soothing and clear as a bell.

He hadn't heard that voice in such a long time, but he'd recognise it anywhere.

Marco.

Jean’s blood went cold. He’d seen Marco’s body, had burned his bones, kept the ashes hidden in a pouch among his things. This was impossible.

He heard the gun’s safety click into place and felt the metal leave. “Why’d you bring him here? Don’t you know it’s risky as Hell to let people like him know where to find us?”

“I’ve known Jean since we were trainees together. He was being completely overwhelmed by titans. I couldn’t just sit there and let him get eaten!”

That was Marco, alright. The way his voice had a subtle bite to it when he was protecting someone he cared about. There was no way anyone could sound so much like him.

But it was even more impossible for Marco to still be alive.

There was an annoyed groan and a shuffling of fabric. The man named Rigel walked into his view for a brief moment before disappearing into a tunnel off the main cave. He was a rather short man, with strawberry blond hair pulled into a braid that went down his back. It was strange, seeing another human so deep into titan territory, especially one who clearly wasn’t affiliated with the military. If he wasn’t so preoccupied with a gun to his head and Marco’s possible resurrection, he might have felt it sooner.

A hand clasped on Jean’s shoulder. His body tensed at the impact. “Hey, are you okay? I’m sure this whole thing has been quite a shock.”

Jean laughed bitterly. That was the understatement of the century. He finally stood up and faced Marco.

He’d aged noticeably since the Battle of Trost. Jean guessed he was about the same height, but something in his face was more mature, somehow. The battle and whatever happened afterwards had aged him significantly.

Marco had also traded his uniform out for civilian clothes: a simple, white collared shirt and some pants that probably weren’t intended for a man of his size. Marco had always been muscular and broad, and even a year’s absence from the military hadn’t changed that fact.

But it was still, undeniably, Marco. Same kind eyes, same freckles, same doting concern for Jean. Nothing had changed there.

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Jean replied bitterly. “I thought you were _dead_ , Marco. I burned your bones.”

Marco put a hand to his mouth, eyes widening in awe. “That’s impossible. Jean, that titan you saw out there is me. I ran into the woods during Trost and haven’t returned since. How on Earth could you have found a body to burn?”

Not even the man himself knew where the body had come from. Jean narrowed his eyes. “So you left me, then. You left our entire year without any defense against the titans. Why? Having Eren on our side has been such a massive boon to our numbers. Could you imagine having _two_ shifters to help us out? How many lives you could have saved?”

Marco clenched his fists. “Because I was scared! I saw what they did to Eren when they learned he was a shifter! I can’t put myself in that kind of danger! My people have been tormenting yours for centuries, why would you play nice with someone who could give you all the information you want!? It wasn’t like I could go home, either--do you know what they do to traitors where I come from!? And it’s not just me they’d target either! I have a family! I have a little sister, Jean, do you think I want to show her how ugly the world can be!?”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Jean’s words were steady, but they cut the air like a knife.

“Jean…”

The soldier straightened. “I trusted you with my life, with every secret I’ve ever kept. Why didn’t you do the same in return?”

“Because I didn’t want--” Marco breathed, trying to steady his nerves. “I didn’t want you to think I was some kind of monster, even if my people consider that a good thing. Because for once in my life, in someone’s eyes, I was something other than a beast. And I didn’t want to ruin that.” He met Jean’s eyes. “You have to understand, this was before Eren. Before anyone even knew what a titan shifter was. I considered telling you, showing you, even, but I couldn’t think of a way to do it that wouldn’t scare you or make you hate me. Once I was beyond the walls after Trost, I’d figured I’d never see you again. I guess that was a stupid thing to assume.”

Jean blinked and stared at the other man, unable to say anything. Marco was his best friend. Marco was a shifter. Marco was a loyal soldier. Marco was a traitor.

Marco had, above all, tried to protect Jean’s feelings.

It was a lot to process.

The shifter had reached into an open crate and pulled out a loaf of bread. “Look, I know you’re probably not happy with me. I get it.” He broke the bread in half and tossed a piece to Jean. “I should probably be able to shift again by tomorrow. You have until then to decide whether you want to go back to the Survey Corps or stay out here with Rigel’s band of thieves. But if you go back, you might never see me again, and you can’t tell _anyone_ what happened in the forest. The last thing I want is for some nosy military personnel to discover that there are humans living outside the Walls.”

Jean took a moment. It was either give up the military or give up Marco.

He looked the other man dead in the eyes. “You know what? I think I’m staying.”

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: This bitch takes [ commissions](https://aro-ackermans.tumblr.com/post/160970900544/hey-everyone-now-that-i-am-officially-no-longer).


End file.
